Nestor Kirchner got a Roto Rooter job on his carotid artery the other day. I heard that they initially cracked open his scrawny receding chest, went groping around in there looking for his heart, and even though the surgeon got his arm in there up to the elbow, he never found one. Maybe that was just a rumor, or maybe Nestor keeps it somewhere else, maybe down at the Peronist Party HQ.
One of Nestor’s PJ (Peronist) doctors blamed the carotid problem on stress, which could be accurate. The story had just come out about him buying 2 million dollars in 2008, making a big bet against the peso; oddly enough the peso has gone down maybe $.70 since then, so Nestor has made maybe 20% on the bet, or $400,000. Not a bad day’s work. This has led to yet another investigation into the K’s illicit fortune, which, since Nestor took office, has multiplied like a tribe of Patagonian jack rabbits on Spring Break. That’s just the money we know about, as people constantly remark.
Cristina must be stressed out too. Who is going to run things if Nestor checks out? Will she be able to channel his ghost? Or will his ghost hang around the quinta in Olivos and give her instructions every night at midnight? What to do?
Fortunately for her, unfortunately for everyone else, the old bastard seems to be recovering, or so says one of his PJ doctors. No one has seen him except Cristina and a couple of “intimates”, so we can’t really be sure.
Did he secretly die, and as we speak they are flying in Animatronics technicians from Disney World to stuff the corpse and get it to move and speak? That will be tricky because of his speech impediment, but I’m sure Disney could handle it. It might be easier to just do everything with computers and only show him on TV. Remember Forrest Gump? Remember how Hollywood faked the Moon landing?
One item mentioned in the press reminds me of how these big-mouthed populist blowhards operate. A while back Nestor was spouting off about something or other and he said that if he ever got sick he would go to the Hospital Argerich, a government hospital, to get fixed up. Well, that time came and Nestor never darkened their door. He was diagnosed at the Clinica Olivos, where I had my pneumonia, and had the Roto Rooter job at the Los Arcos Sanitarium, where he is no doubt kicking back on crisp white sheets with cute little nurses running all around plumping up the pillows.
You see, Nestor’s PJ (defender of the little guy) doctor said publicly that the Argerich was not up to the task of treating Nestor. The Buenos Aires health minister was outraged at that and replied publicly that the guy should not have said that, because it might lead to a public loss of confidence in the government health system. Not because it wasn’t true, just that it would upset the people forced to spend their last moments on Earth in that government rat hole.
Surely no one expected Nestor to go to a public hospital; that would go against all demagogue tradition. These scumbags never submit themselves to the squalor and humiliation of the government-run institutions which they have magnanimously set up for the rest of us. A few examples you gringos must be familiar with are Congress’s exempting itself from its own health plan, and the children of the two biggest teachers’ union champions of the last twenty years (Clinton and Obama) sending their precious little darlings to the fanciest private school in Washington, so as not to subject them to the horrors of the DC government rat holes, after fighting fiercely to deny vouchers which would allow the rabble to send their creepy nasty little snot-slingers to the same fancy school.
The good thing about this whole incident is that both Nestor and the public have been reminded of his mortality. He will not be around forever, although it seems as if he has been around forever already. Some day he too will be pushing up daisies, but in his case it may be poison ivy.
One of Nestor’s PJ (Peronist) doctors blamed the carotid problem on stress, which could be accurate. The story had just come out about him buying 2 million dollars in 2008, making a big bet against the peso; oddly enough the peso has gone down maybe $.70 since then, so Nestor has made maybe 20% on the bet, or $400,000. Not a bad day’s work. This has led to yet another investigation into the K’s illicit fortune, which, since Nestor took office, has multiplied like a tribe of Patagonian jack rabbits on Spring Break. That’s just the money we know about, as people constantly remark.
Cristina must be stressed out too. Who is going to run things if Nestor checks out? Will she be able to channel his ghost? Or will his ghost hang around the quinta in Olivos and give her instructions every night at midnight? What to do?
Fortunately for her, unfortunately for everyone else, the old bastard seems to be recovering, or so says one of his PJ doctors. No one has seen him except Cristina and a couple of “intimates”, so we can’t really be sure.
Did he secretly die, and as we speak they are flying in Animatronics technicians from Disney World to stuff the corpse and get it to move and speak? That will be tricky because of his speech impediment, but I’m sure Disney could handle it. It might be easier to just do everything with computers and only show him on TV. Remember Forrest Gump? Remember how Hollywood faked the Moon landing?
One item mentioned in the press reminds me of how these big-mouthed populist blowhards operate. A while back Nestor was spouting off about something or other and he said that if he ever got sick he would go to the Hospital Argerich, a government hospital, to get fixed up. Well, that time came and Nestor never darkened their door. He was diagnosed at the Clinica Olivos, where I had my pneumonia, and had the Roto Rooter job at the Los Arcos Sanitarium, where he is no doubt kicking back on crisp white sheets with cute little nurses running all around plumping up the pillows.
You see, Nestor’s PJ (defender of the little guy) doctor said publicly that the Argerich was not up to the task of treating Nestor. The Buenos Aires health minister was outraged at that and replied publicly that the guy should not have said that, because it might lead to a public loss of confidence in the government health system. Not because it wasn’t true, just that it would upset the people forced to spend their last moments on Earth in that government rat hole.
Surely no one expected Nestor to go to a public hospital; that would go against all demagogue tradition. These scumbags never submit themselves to the squalor and humiliation of the government-run institutions which they have magnanimously set up for the rest of us. A few examples you gringos must be familiar with are Congress’s exempting itself from its own health plan, and the children of the two biggest teachers’ union champions of the last twenty years (Clinton and Obama) sending their precious little darlings to the fanciest private school in Washington, so as not to subject them to the horrors of the DC government rat holes, after fighting fiercely to deny vouchers which would allow the rabble to send their creepy nasty little snot-slingers to the same fancy school.
The good thing about this whole incident is that both Nestor and the public have been reminded of his mortality. He will not be around forever, although it seems as if he has been around forever already. Some day he too will be pushing up daisies, but in his case it may be poison ivy.
1 comments:
Re Nestor's mortality...I wouldn't be so sure of that. This guy probably has a direct line to Satan ala Castro....may go on forever.
Miri T.
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